I’ve offered to make meals during trying seasons, to clean their houses, watch their kids, just be present with them, whatever! I would love for help to be reciprocated, but honestly I would give say 75% or so and only want 25% in return or whatever they can offer. We are AP style and since we don’t have any real friends, I don’t know where to begin looking for a trusted and good babysitter. So many mothers are so ashamed of their imperfections and afraid to be seen as inadequate that it causes them to deny themselves of the very connections that would prove them absolutely, wonderfully normal! Pride seems to stop so many women from accepting help if they haven’t been able to give it first. Its very hard to trust just a stranger online offering babysitting services I dont even trust my friends for that stuff idk maybe theyre the wrong its super hard and i only have one.If they can’t help in return, I understand that too. I’ve tried with easily over 50 women (from moms groups, functions, church ect) to creat some resemblance of a tribe, just starting out small, “let’s swap watching each other’s kids once a month, want to? ” “Hey I’m at the store do you need me to pick anything up? A lot of people where we live have Grandma to do all the babysitting, but that’s not the case for us. Your post here is one of the most treasured pieces I’ve read in years. I responded to your babysitting question earlier, and then a bunch of comments and my responses were lost. This is the exact lack and emptiness I have felt and experienced first hand since becoming a mother for the first time nearly 6 years ago while in my early 20’s.It really is so much about opening up to a whole new way of being and expressing ourselves, isn’t it? We are not supposed to parent in this isolated way – it is too much to ask of people. You wrote another masterpiece right here and I can’t find the words to express what it meant to me and how much I want to thank you.I sat here crying, tears streaming down my face as I read your every word and it vibrated with deep truths in my soul.
But it is so satisfying to find a circle of people that can appreciate to share a connection of the vulnerability of motherhood.I think that you’re right that mothers, and even, parents, have a lot of burdens, and that societal shifts have made those worse.But I would say that its not just mothers that have the biggest struggle– its all women.I’m a mother of a 1 year old and a 3 year old and I am so isolated. Foster an adult relationship with them, and encourage them to foster one with your children. Hi Jess I’ve just read your comment Where in the world are you?I’ve been desperately trying to find/make a village for 3 years where I live. Invite her for dinner or afternoon tea a few times to get to know you and the kids. I feel exactly like you and feel desparate to connect with you.