The priceless humor and funny jokes on this page milk all the sacred cows of human family hijinks.You gotta find the funny in relationships or move to the planet "Crazy." Great jokes about Men, Women, Dating, Marriage, Kids, Grandparents, and Seniors.I know we've been friends for a long time....I just can't think of your name! On his way home he stops at a shop and buys a paper.Before leaving he says to the shop assistant , "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.At the same time, I would like to inform you that while you are reading this, I will be at the Ritz Carleton with Michael, my tennis coach, who, like your secretary, also is 18.As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car. Cursing softly, now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear? At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him."Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is." A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.