The only "triggers" I have come from being around someone who is acting abusively or something extreme that reminds me of my past (guns, knives, violence on tv/movies, etc.)I believe it's my gentle nature that has allowed me to be abused in the past. And having being abused in the past does not relieve anybody of his/her relationship work. I didn't call her for a few days after two dates and she left 37 voice mails on my phone, 15 emails on one account, and 10 on the other account. Telling me how she was abused as a child and all that. I think it would be fun to see what would happen if a woman asked the same thing... Razor1994, I used to be one of those obsessed women who did what you describe, and I can tell you directly that it CAN heal, but only if the obsessive person is willing to look at his/her own behaviour and quit making others out as the problem: I was my worst problem, and I brought all that onto myself.
While I'll never change that part of me, I've learned how to recognize unhealthy relationships and walk away without regret. Now, when I was abused, I didn't deserve it, but I did cause some of my past relationships great harm by acting like a psycho.
The point, my dear Ceno, is that not all abused are whack jobs. I am so happy for people who have managed to be in nothing but healthy relationships throughout their lives.
That relationship does not have to be one of two supposedly inlove...sickly so.
Specifically, women who experienced intercourse by a parent may be more introverted and less open to experience than women whose sexual abuse history does not include parental incest.
Supported in part by the Mental Health Association of Monroe County (Gottschalk Research Grant), a Leonard F.
Edited to add: When I trigger, I *do not* get hostile or violent, I get nervous and afraid. I will regress if I don't keep my head together, tho'. If I let my emotions run my conduct, I'll be right back where I started, only worse, since now I have healthy coping skills, and can choose to not blame anyone else. Well, ask away, I've been on both sides of this fence.
Characteristics of childhood sexual abuse were obtained from a structured life-events interview.
Personality was measured with the NEO-Five-Factor Inventory (NEO-FFI), which yields scores on neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.
I don't recommend bonding with someone who has not dealt with their issues... But I see alot of judgement calls...which is also part of life, I know.
I just see alot of uneducated judgement calls being made.