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Patience in accepting where you are, and patience to get to where you want to be. They know what it feels like when the whole world is crashing down on you, and to feel broken at rock-bottom. People in recovery know what it is to be terrifyingly lonely, even if you are surrounded by friendly faces — it’s part of being unwell. But those who are recovering from an eating disorder do. They consume your feelings about yourself, your value, your worth. They then consume your friends and family, leading you to believe you deserve this isolation. Eating disorders destroy a person’s whole existence. Each day isn’t something you just have to get through, but something you decided you want, and fought so hard to have.

Patience with your friends and family when they unintentionally say things that hurt you as they try to help you. Sometimes we can be too wrapped up in life to notice that other people are suffering. Eating disorders, like other mental illnesses, tell you that everyone hates you. So recovery involves breaking down these false beliefs and recognizing that you are worth so much to your friends and family. Going into life with this mindset, you cannot fail to appreciate how pretty a pink and orange sky looks, or how fun it is to mess around with your friends, or how good a cup of tea is, or how fuzzy a hug from someone you love feels, or how refreshing raindrops feel on your face, or how electric it feels when you make someone else smile. In the words of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, beautiful people do not just happen.

“Or maybe I’d have some fruit and then go to the gym for three hours. It was a gradual process but I changed myself.” During the candid interview, Hale also shares how she met her boyfriend, actor Chris Zylka. He’s got to have a good relationship with his mom, because I feel like that says a lot.

We couldn’t stop talking.” When it comes to dating, Hale is anything but shy about what she wants.

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“I’ve never really talked about this, but I would go days without eating,” Hale shares. The actress told PEOPLE in 2010 her ideal match has “got to be a gentleman.

Nothing screams “there’s so much misogyny and prejudice about mental illness in the world” louder than a good old-fashioned article about “five reasons to date a girl with an eating disorder.” But it’s more than that.

In the film, Lovato explained that she went three years without purging (self-induced vomiting) while dating actor Wilmer Valderrama.In other words, the presence of an eating disorder is as much a reliable predictor of various socioeconomic, cultural and personality traits in a person as a sprained ankle is: not at all.The idea of dating someone because their illness makes it easier for you to get what you want is repulsive, if not sadistic, which is why I wanted to challenge that article and the prejudice surrounding mental health.From my experience, something good comes from all destructive things. Recovery involves battling with your own mind every single day — facing your most terrifying nightmare on a regular basis.I have met some of the most beautiful people in my recovery from anorexia. I don’t think there is anything braver than embarking on a journey you cannot rest from, even when you are so scared and so exhausted.

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